Big Question: My adult children are very rigid about their children's sleep schedule, and this frustrates me, how can I address it with them?

First of all, I can appreciate your feelings, especially during the holidays when it is tough to plan family time and various celebration activities while at the same time respecting nap and early bedtime schedules.

However, I also appreciate parents who understand the gift of adequate sleep that they are giving their children. We have all been to that church service or family gathering where children's behavior has been compromised by fatigue, and that can be frustrating (for all) as well.

Check out this blog post: Why I Got Strict About My Child's 7 PM Bedtime?  It is on the site: mother.ly.com, and it spells out a mother's perspective on the strictness of an early bedtime. The author acknowledges that there will be times when families need to be flexible and her willingness to live with whatever consequences that may entail.

Here are my takeaways for the benefits of establishing a somewhat strict sleep routine:

Children who are well-rested are generally happier and display better coping skills. They manage their big emotions and are better able to handle transitions. They often have improved appetites and more physical stamina.

In addition, their parents are often more well-rested and are also generally happier and display better coping skills, i.e. patience. They have a better sense of being in control, and that translates to more positive outcomes in all areas of their life, not just parenting.

So… in answer to your question, I would begin any conversation with your adult children about this issue with a stated appreciation for your adult children's efforts to meet their children's sleep needs and a stated recognition of your understanding of what is driving those efforts.

Then, when making family plans, I would suggest prioritizing one or two times when you would appreciate it if they would consider being flexible.

It is possible that, in fact, they won't consider making some exceptions to their routine, and ultimately you need to respect that. But, be heartened to know that as your grandchildren age, they will need less sleep - though no one wants to see them grow up too fast!