How Do You Instill Tolerance And Appreciation For All Families?
When my three-year-old granddaughter asks me if she can marry her brother, I explain to her that sisters can't marry brothers or other family members. When she asks if she can marry her friends Freddy, a boy or Eleanor, a girl, I answer yes; she can marry either of her friends, and if they do get married, they will be a family. She is learning at a very early age that families can come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. She is learning that what makes a family a family... is love.
When I read the recent Huffington Post article, Teacher Fired After Criticizing Student Who Expessed Thanks For His Two Dads, about the teacher of an eleven-year-old student who told the student that it was wrong to be thankful for his two foster fathers who were about to adopt him officially, I was outraged and broken-hearted. When people are cruel in the name of religion, my emotions run high.
We live in a pluralistic society whose very existence depends on tolerance. As parents and teachers, we have a responsibility to instill those values early and not stay silent when others reject them.
I remember a former parent reaching out to me to get advice about his son's elementary school's bulletin board showing same-sex parents in a display about families. He felt - his words - that his second-grader was too young to learn about sex.
My response to him that learning about families that may be different from yours doesn't require a conversation about sex. I pointed out that when we attend a wedding with a bride and a groom, it doesn't become an occasion for a discussion about sex, but rather a celebration of a couple that has decided to become a family.
The father appreciated my response, and he said that it helped him to think about the bulletin board display and for that matter families with same-sex parents in a new way. Thinking about families in a new way is something we all need to do.
While the news story of the teacher’s homophobic rant was upsetting, there was some good news to be had in the tale. First of all, after many children in the class asked the teacher to stop her chauvinistic tirade and she continued, three children left the classroom and went to get the principal. Their actions took courage, not something you would necessarily expect from eleven-year-olds. However, even at that early age, they had learned not to remain silent in the face of such prejudice. Secondly, when the fathers returned home the next day with their son, the front of their house was covered with cut-out hearts and messages of love and support from their neighbors.
We can all be thankful for a community such as this!
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